Christmas maybe over, but I still feel very much in the Christmas mood. I was hoping to get some fun gifts over the season, but nothing quite quenched my thirst, not that the gifts I got weren’t incredibly thoughtful and for the most part very useful. Alas, nothing screamed Christmas to me when I opened it, what ever happened to giving a gift that fit into the theme of Christmas? I want to see Christmas colors of red, green and white, see Santa Clause, reindeer or candy cane designs on the gifts I open. I would’ve even appreciated a fun game to play, games aren’t just for kids.
Christmas is a time to splurge and get things that you normally wouldn’t, besides a time to spend with your loved ones. I can buy myself socks, underwear and any other boring piece of clothing, I want something fun and something that reminds me of Christmas. I don’t want to struggle to remember when I got something, I should be able to look at it and say “I got that for Christmas”, instead of struggling to remember just where it came from. I just want to find myself something great to get for an after Christmas gift.
Here are some of the best:
How to Traumatize Your Children
Have you ever wondered how kids come out so messed up? Wonder no longer! This guide book will teach you all the necessary skills to *uck up your children.
National Lampoons Glass Moose Mug
Anyone who’s a fan of this classic Christmas movie will absolutely love this mug.
Sex Panther Spray
Anchorman fans know: It works every time 60% of the time
Magic Wand TV Remote Control
This Harry Potter style magic wand can replace your TV remote and make you feel like a real wizard. Dumbledore would be proud.
Fart Alert
Want to give people a heads up when you let them rip? This alert will give people the option of staying clear until the air clears.
Scary Shower Curtain
This shower curtain will have you looking twice every time you enter your washroom.
Perverted Garden Gnome
What’s more fun than a garden gnome? A perverted garden gnome! Will make a good office desk decoration!
Runaway Alarm Clock
Never over-sleep again! Clocky is the alarm clock on wheels that runs away beeping!
Ugly Christmas Sweater Kit
The original sweater that Santa used to wear back when he was pimping for a living.
Gentleman’s Silver Plated Ballscratcher
The Executive Ball Scratchers do the one job that the executive gentleman has to do himself…Scratch their balls
Fart Extinguisher
Sick of people with horrible gas? Use this extinguisher to get rid of the smell.
Camel Hump Day Coffee Mug
This hump day mug will surely get you giggles around the office and who knows what else.
Medieval Weapon Push Pins
Ten weapon handled push pins to stick things to your wall or cork board
NES Cartridge Blow Me Poster
Video Game Cartridge Blow Me Poster
Happy Man Bottle Stopper
A funny accessory for any wine and beer bottles. He’ll keep it fresh for you and enjoy doing it.
6 Pack Redneck Beer and Soda Can Holster
Hate getting up to get another beer from the fridge? With this beer holster you can hold six of your favorite beverages. A great gift for those that like to indulge.
Toilet Mini-Golf
Fun way to pass time on the toilet. The perfect gift for those that find it boring to do their business. You’ll have them jumping at the chance to take a poop.
I’ve Never Board Game
Wanna know more about a person? A great way to socialize and have a few cocktails.
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas
Here’s an amazing book for your clueless boss that keeps hitting on you. It’s also perfect for someone who loves coloring even though they are over 18.
